Love

Recently I have been thinking a lot about love. And love is very hard for me. All together....being loved...loving others. And the reason that I have a really hard time is because I don't like being hurt. A few days ago I realized that it hurts to love others and I shouldn't be afraid of it. I have been having a hard time loving people in the Downtown Eastside because they hurt so much and I know that it would hurt me to love them. Selfish I know, but true. We had a christmas party the other day and we had to invite people from the DTES to come, people we have befriended. I only had one friend that came. And this person is someone that I have gotten to enjoy and love. And the thing for me was that he always seemed pretty happy. We would have good conversations. At the party we were talking and I was being kind of intense with the things I was saying because I really wanted him to accept God because he is mad at Him. He was doing his thing making jokes and acting okay than he started sharing stuff. It was really hard for me to listen to. He was telling me about how he does drugs so that he won't kill himself. He told me how lonely he was and how everyday he wamts to die because he is so lonely and just all this stuff that I was not expecting him to say. I sat there and I had no words. All I could do was sit there and listen. He didn't want me to answer his problems, because he has had people do that and he didn't want me to tell him all the cliche things that christians say because he has heard it. He wanted me to love him. And in that moment I think I hurt more than I had in a long time, but all I could do is love. I saw than the importance of loving and how that it is going to hurt and it is going to be tough, but it is worth it.

Grace,
Meg