With an undefeated heart these words were laid down

So I have been learning hard lessons in love. I have a habit loving unconditionally, and with all I have inside of me. I fall desperately in love with those around me. This has lead to me feeling more heartbreak in the past 2 weeks or so than in my entire life. This has caused me to learn more about true love knowing borders. I allow my love for people to burden me, for the intensity of the feeling to overwhelm me and the sadness or loneliness to destroy me. The hours I've spent face on the floor in the War Room mourning for those I love should really have been spent praising the Lord for the opportunity to love them.
I'm still not sure what that makes love look like.
I'm not sure what this makes LIFE look like.
FYI: War College turns you into an emotional mess.

Namaste, Caitlyn.

(P.S. Go to the War College)

Theology and Thumbprints

Nearly three months into War College, and I am probably more confused than I was when I first began. It's been said many times that ignorance is bliss-- it's true. My faith was so much simpler when I did not have to wrestle with the issue of holiness, or whether or not insite is a good idea or not. When I first began WAr College, I was a bit of a debater. At times I still am, but generally, I have found that arguing theology, christology, and a number of other "ology's" only leaves me feel more confused. Not to say that debating such things is bad. Most definatly not! But, you see, I was expecting to some how find God, or even truth, in the countless debates, but I never did. They never caused me to healthely question my faith, rather they only distracted me from the most important things.
Then there are the things that do strengthen my faith, for one reason or another. Like the way light bounces of of objects. Or the human thumbprint. Or the way that pigeons interact ( I see ALOT of pigeons ). Or... the sky. Spending time just sitting in awe of things such as these draws me so closely into God's arms. Perhaps this means that I don't have answers to every question, I'm finally ok with that.

Freedom

This is our final week of Term one of the War College, it has been challenging, I have grown alot through grace from God and threw the fellowship with my fellow session mates. This coming monday we will be having freedom day and I'm excited to see what the Lord has instored for us on this Monday. I have no clue as to what this is going to look like but I'm sure its going to be filled with the Holy Spirit and we will let everything come out.
God is freeing me to have opportunities in life and I have descided that I would apply for The Future Fellowship Candidate for becoming a Cadet in order to become a Salvation Army Officer.
I would just ask for your prayers for me and I also pray that God would bless me in this adventure and journey that I will be on to becoming an Officer.
Being at The War College will help me with the Spiritual Side of things and the actuall work that we are suppost to be doing.
In order to do these things I need to obey first of all God and then the leaders he has set before me so this week I'm going strong and getting things done and have faith in everything I'm doing for the Lord.
So keep me in my prayers and I bless you in the name of the FATHER, SON, and The HOLY SPIRIT.

These Boots Were Meant for Walking

Ok, so, I don't even know the words to that song, I just remember 'Puss in Boots' singing 'em in Shrek 2. It seems appropriate though because I was finally able to use my new gum boots today. AND the reason why my gum boots are relevant (just in case you were wondering) is that I am still thinking about wandering. Searching. Yesterday, I decided to have a mini-adventure. So, instead of walking home with the lovely Jordan and indomitable Meghan I chose to use the compass on my key chain and walk South! So much fun! God and I basically just hung out. We chatted. I got angry (as usual) cried, then laughed. I saw so much... It's sad that we are such an individualistic society. I saw so much... It's sad that the cancer of individualism has gone so deep that we all exist dreaming dreams we can't even share. I saw soccer teams, elderly people sitting at park benches, kids playing on playgrounds, a Dad teaching his kid to ride a bike, and, man, I could just go on and on. the biggest impression I got was from a kid I saw practicing soccer... with ALL his heart! I wsa so impressed. People still dream. I guess I'd let myself forget that. there are so many broken dreams down here. Um, I know I belong here. So, as a result of my wanderings/wonderings yesterday I have decided I would really love to throw myself into community (sharing includes dreams), and 2ndly that I really want to continue to have wandering adventures! Yadeyada ya ya yah.

Religion.

I talked to my sister on the phone for a while today, for the first time in a while.
At one point, she got mad at me because I don't want a Buddha statue for christmas.

It's funny, shes not Buddhist. Nor is she Christian.
I haven't been Christian myself for very long, and I've never straight out said "Hey sister, I'm a Christian!" But she knows.
She's not a fan of organized religion. She believes that there is truth in every religion, and that whatever religion you believe will be true to you.
Yeah, I suppose that makes sense.
Untill judgement day.
My question is, how do I change a mind like that? I mean, technically she's not really wrong.. But she definatly isn't right.

God's been talking to me a lot latley. It's been really good.
It's getting easier to tell what is truth and what is lies.. Except about one major situation. If anyone wants to pray for clarity for me, that would be nice.

Is there a difference between sacrifice, and giving something up to make it easier on you?

Almost everyone I know is giving me crap for not having enough time for them this year. They don't understand that this is my life this year. This is where I need to be. It's really hard, because some of them are going through some pretty serious stuff, and I feel like I should be there for them, but I just can't. I can't be there for everyone, and do what I need to do here. I can't please everyone.
I don't need to please everyone, I just need to please God.
But where do I draw the line?

It's because it would be so easy for me to just hop on a bus and go see everyone who needs me. The only problems are time, and priority. God is my priority, God wants me in war college, therefore, war college is my priority. How to I explain that to my friends who aren't Christian?

Would not going home on the weekends be a sacrifice I should have made upon coming here, or would it be giving it up for myself to make it easier, and if its the latter, than is it worth it?

If I'm running away from my life this year, but am supposed to run back to it next year, how far should I run from it this year?
It's all about balance, and trusting that the Lord will help me to get balanced and stay there.

Why am I busy blogging about this? I should be praying about this.

Jessica.

Pictures

Here are some pictures of the painting in Pigeon Park that I blogged on last time. Enjoy!

Dead Lives

I wait in longing for life to start. As if all time stands on the edge of a cliff, waiting to jump-- to fly. But somewhere, I lost life in the continual passing of seconds and minutes, days and weeks, months and years. A part of me felt incomplete. As if I had forgotten an essential organ somewhere, or perhaps, not forgotten. Rather, I never had it to start with. And then, for a season, this undefinable space was filled. Unfortunatly, in the process of filling of that part of myself, I lost everything else. Why I needed that part of me so terribly, to the point of sacrificing every other part of me, I do not know.
Then, the season ended, and once again I was alone. The hole inside me had become an open grave, just waiting to swallow me up. I tip toed my way around that grave for years. Sometimes I was ready to fall right in, but something held me back. (Thanks Lord).



But God does more than keep us from dying... he keeps us from living dead lives.



Living here, and living one, has made me an expert on dead lives. Every person I pass could easily be thrown into the box labelled "walking dead". Don't think of this as a judgement. I don't intend it to be at all, what I am saying is this: the lives that these people live contain no life. Part of me wants to join them in their pointless existance, but only when all things seem helpless. And in such times, I am still reminded, that though things SEEM helpless, they most definatly are not.
What I am trying to say is this: I am guilty of living a dead life. A friend presented this quote to me, "Is the life you are living worth Jesus dying for?" I would argue, that at this point... no. I'll let you know when that gets fixed.

(this was a post written before the previously listed one)

It's name is Fear.

Like many little one's blankets and teddy bears, I too had a constant companion as a child. It was not, however, a companion of comfort or warmth. It's name was Fear.

Obviously, it is not unusual for a child to have fears, something as simple as spiders or the dark can through many children into hysterics. But, I never did drop mine alongside the road, as many children do between childhood and teenage years. Suddenly it wasn't so much the dark that cause me to fear, although I admit I did not get entirely over that fear until just recently. Instead, the fear was of people, of life, of judgements.

So I lived with it. I saw others and taught myself to mimik, something that I now am fighting almost constantly. Unfortunatly, eventually I was mimiking too many people, and my "character" clashed against itself painfully. My life was a mess of desparatly trying to meet expectations, all the while trying to meet my own quota of teenage rebelliosness. I was a punch of pride and self hatred, a a tye-dye of timidity and aggresiveness, a web of wishful thinking and logic. (that sentance just left cheesy waaay begin) I loved to be competative, but only when know I would come out somewhere near the top, which, sadly, led to me doing very very few things in highschool.

And now here I am, 18, with not much of any idea who I actually am, and honestly not even sure who I'm not. But, the root, is gone. My old tag along has finally been dropped, and I am in good spirits, knowing that the result will most definatly be one which pleases my Lord.
Blessings,

Jordan

Since my last post I have been doing allot better. God has really shown me to be open about my feeling towards my session. I have been really searching God and what he wants for me and I sometimes don't know everything and that's just fine. Our God gracious and compassionate towards us.
The Lord is good to us but we sometime forget about what we need to focus on. Sometimes we have so much pride that we hurt each other but by the grace of God we can talk about what is happening with us and ask for forgiveness and forgive.
I am a Child of God, and he is my Father.
He holds me when I'm sad.
He gives me peace when I'm in discouraged.
He loves me for who I am for him.
He delight in the good things I do for him.
He encourages me to keep on going and not quite.
He Love the Incendiaries and all the 614 Community.

I have to say that this has been a real challenge for me and I pray that God blesses me through the struggles, and difficulties. God save us from the pain that we may endure this year. Show us what you have us. Give us grace for the things we do that are not right in your eyes.

May the Grace of the Lord be upon us this day.

Love
Rob

God is God

Recently I have been pondering the ways of God. And why exactly He does what He does. I have been finding myself more confused than I was previously. It is so hard to comprehend the ways of God. It is hard to accept that. As humans we want all knowledge. The fall of man was because Eve was told that she would know the things that God knows if she ate the fruit. Who wouldn't eat the fruit?

I have found that we get scared if we don't have the answers. We get uncomfortable if we do not know the solution to every problem. We question the God that we love. Knowledge seems almost like a comfort blanket. If you have all the answers, if you know all things than you are not crazy, right?

Well, what is the point of faith? If we had all the answers and if we knew everything about God than what would be living for? It would be easy....too easy. Without knowing things we are capable to live in the faith that there is a God and that God is good.

It is tough. It is tough to live in a world that makes you question things. A world that makes you think that you need all the answers. The reason so many people have a hard time accepting God is because it is uncomfortable not knowing everything.

So, in my pondering of who God is I have found that we will never know...at least not here on earth. All we need to know is that He is God and He is perfect.

Peace,
Meg

Truth is Hard-Wired

What can I say? God built each of us uniquely. Some of the stuff that ticks me off sends others to their boldest and brightest! Some of the stuff that makes me thrive brings others way down.
I've been thinking a lot about traveling recently. I think I'd like to take a while off and live as a homeless wanderer, walking around America. That doesn't float some people's boat, but that's A ok. Well, I say this to get at the point that I wanted to do this wandering to get away from everything else that I'm used to. I want to write stuff down and think about life, and the more I think about it, everything I'm looking for is like hard-wired into my brain and my soul. I see God's Truth and beauty in creation. I see it in humankind. I see it all over the DTES. So, I've decided I'd like to search out this Truth here, now. I'm not even sure how. BUT I really want to. I want to dive deeper into God. Yeah. That would be cool.
Lord, please show me Your Truth all around- let me feel it like I'm underwater!

Freedom.

Sorry about the late blog folks.
There was a lack of internet in my life yesturday, due to not being allowed in the command centre/not having my computer.

I had a really good night tonight. Best street combat so far.
I met a bunch of people, and one lady sticks out in particular.
Sharon.
Megan and I met her when we were about to leave Blood Alley. I'm very glad Megan spotted her hiding in the shadows.
I really felt like God wants her to know how beautiful she is, and how amazingly he created her. She is searching for freedom.
In class on Friday, I had a revelation about freedom.
Freedom is the only thing people want. Think about it. Everything people crave leads to freedom, or a false perspective of freedom.
True love = freedom.
Drugs = freedom from pain.
Choice = freedom.
Money = power = freedom.
We were finding the link between different world issues, such as war, abortion, capital piunishment, poverty and so on..
The link I saw so strongly was freedom.
I've realized that is what everyone is searching for.
That is what I was searching for all my life, and could only find in one place.
Christ.
He is the only true freedom, he is the only one that can really set us free, yet everyone who doesn't have him, and aren't searching, are doing so because they believe they are free.
They think they have freedom but they really don't, and that is what is so sad.

I used to always get confused, and just not understand the lyrics "It is for freedom you've set us free" and I never completely grasped the concept of freedom, and of the freedom that Christ gives us untill recently, and it is just blowing my mind.
Instead of asking people if they know Jesus, we should ask them if they are free, because that is what Jesus is, freedom. That is what people want, and all they need to know is that Jesus is the only true freedom.

Iv'e never been so free as I am now.

Praise God.
Jessica.

Seagulls and Stars

I have a strange fondness for seagulls. Something in the way that they ride on the wind and the way they stand so starkly white agaist a blue sky. It wasn't always this what however. I remember quite vividly sitting around the big old fir tree in the school yard, while my close friend announced that, if she were an animal, she would be a seagull. It was the first time I had really taken much notice of the things. I had always grown up in the interior, where the only seagulls you saw where when you went to the dump... not so nice. However, since that moment I have been taking opportunities to observe them, and have definatly come to the conclusion that I am very fond of them. I spent a good hour just watching them at Crab tree park the other day. Honestly, God is just so good!! I just can't help praising him for all he has done. I am realizing that he desires me to take more joy in the gifts he has given me through nature. I dont take nearly as much time for them as i should, and I regret not having taken time to enjoy them before coming to Vancouver. Stars was the hardest thing to loose. I still see them once in awhile, but usually there are clouds, not to mention the MILLION city lights that drown them out. Oh, I really do love stars. There is something almost ominous about them. Hmm, perhaps that is similar to my relationship with God. I don't take much notice of him when i can see him all the time, but when i can't, I long for him. I feel ridiculous some nights when I joyously exclaim "I see a star!", as I point to a single, faint little light, twinkling in the sky. But even that little star makes me feel so much closer to God. It makes me remember what eternal really means, and what endless really describes. Mmm hmm... God is a good good God.

The Themes of Today

Last night the area outside the Command Center was bear sprayed. The smell still lingers pretty strong in the stairway up to the war room and in the doorway. You can see where the bear spray hit the Crosswalk and stairway doors, as they are stained with a orange/brown liquid. It looks like our door was deliberately sprayed because there is a big stain right around and on the door handle, so every time you open the door you get the spray on your hands and have to wash them so you don't end up touching your face or eating with it still on your hands. If you forget to, and rub your eyes or touch your mouth, you'll very soon experience a bad burning sensation that takes a few minutes to leave and can render you blind for that time. Needless to say, I've learned my lesson and washed my hands a lot today. It was so bad last night that one of our community members, who was merely around when it happened, couldn't see for 20 minutes and had to be lead around for another 25 afterwards. Now, I can't say why our door/stairway was targeted or if it was a target at all, but the whole incident has caused me to think about persecution today and reflect on the passage in Matthew 5:10-11

Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Now, simply having to wash your hands after opening or touching a door isn't too bad and if it's been because we show Jesus in any way, then I'm quite happy about it! But if I had gotten bear sprayed in the face, would I be thinking the same thing? There are much worse persecutions happening to Christians around the world today because they show Jesus, and as much as I would like to think I would rejoice in it, I really don't know that I would be able to. It would definitely be very hard to.

Pray for those who are persecuted. Some countries in particular to pray for would be China, India, Ethiopia, Turkey, Iran, Turkmenistan, Indonesia, Colombia, and Cuba. These are all classified as "hostile" or "restricted" nations under the "Voice of the Martyrs" organization.



On a happier note, we finger painted a scene of freedom on pieces of large chart paper taped up to the wall in Pigeon Park today. The skyline of the city is dark and grey, but out of the sun comes light and the light spreads through the city, never looking back but only moving forward with more light and colour. The colours are bright and vibrant, standing out and taking over the picture. They bring with them peace, hope and joy, and not just a shortlived happiness that comes with the world's "freedom" but a real, deep joy that comes with true freedom through Jesus Christ. True freedom is awesome. True freedom is the author of the picture.
It's a very pretty picture, I must say, and I hope to have some pictures up of it soon. It still hangs in Pigeon Park, speaking its message and blessing the area with a glimpse of the joy, hope and peace that is found only in the Son and radiates through and through.

Peace be with you,
Megan

For the last few days things have been a little shaky im having a rough time with my emotions and it really sucks. I'm writing how if feel rite now so i apologize. God has been been good to me lately but this week I've been going through past issues it seems and I cant shake them or even if I'm just not being open about how I'm feeling I don't know. I Praise the Lord when I'm feeling down I think I just need some encouragment because I have just been taking lies and I've probaly said some lies myself and I'm sorry if this is how i need to get this out. I pray Jesus that you would take this pain away and that don't feel this way.
To be continued
Rob

Perfect Love

Well, our journey as Christians is towards God, right? We just keep on growing more into His likeness until He brings it on in to completion. What does that mean for now, but imperfection! Depressing. But, thank God, He has not just saved us from our past sins but set up a way of forgiveness for all our sins, till we're just like Christ. How are we to be holy then (since holiness is possible now)? These last couple of weeks I've put a lot of time and contemplation, prayer and reading into that and God's reminded me of His Word. He saves me. He lays hold of me and the thing I can't quite yet get for myself, but long to take a hold of. So, in a way, He already takes me there and in a way He makes it real. Holiness is then, living fully in perfect love (perfect not meaning beyond surpassing, but perfect as in right for now). I desperately want to live in perfect love with Christ, and I'm sooo frustrated when I fail but God keeps reminding me He's got my back.
There's a song by Corrine Bailey Rae called "Put Your Record On" and it's all about just being yourself (specially as a girl), and there is one line that is prob my favourite out of the whole song and much of what anyone has ever said to me before "You don't have to try ay longer. Do what ya wanna." And that is so powerful because that says we can be trusted. Trust is essential to love. It's like God looks at me and say, " I set you up to fly, you don't have to try, just go!" So, right, perfect love. Perfect!

Taking a stand

Two blocks from our war room exists a fetish club. Last night there was an event, "Sin City" that our female students stood out against sin. They didn't speak out, but did engage in conversations when people saw their Salvation Army jackets and badges. They took a stand against sin and they were covered. That is, four remained in The War Room praying for convictions and protection while they stood against the schemes of the enemy.

Distraction.

There has been one common theme throughout my week.
Distraction.

On Monday we did a soaking session for Lynne's class, which was good. At first I saw myself dancing, then I fell asleep, then I woke up and got so distracted. I couldn't focus on any thought at all for more than about 10 seconds. So I just said "Okay God, I need to focus on you. How can I get closer to you, and glorify you?"
You want to know what his answer was?
"Just worship me."

I had a lot of trouble focusing in classes or in my war room shifts this week. Normally I'm not that all over the place in my head.
During knee dirll this week I just could not focus on Aaron's message. It was one I was really interested in too.
I just kept looking around and seeing things to focus on for a minute, then move on, instead of paying attention to Aaron and what he was saying.
I decided I needed to do something, so I lay down on my stomach, put my face in my arms, closed my eyes and listened.
I don't think I've ever paid that much attention to anything in my life. I've decided I'm going to start just closing my eyes and listening more often during preaches, or teachings. Maybe my teachers will think I'm falling asleep, but that is a price I'm willing to pay to get the most I can out of every lesson.
I hope my teachers read this blog so they know in advance...

I tend to give people lots of compliments and encouragements.. You know the saying "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything?" I think of it more as "If you don't have anything nice to say, think of something nice and say it anyways".
That makes it really hard for me to accept compliments, because I generally only get them after I give them, which makes it seem like the other person only gave one because I gave them one.
If I compliment you, I don't want one back. I want to know that you accept my words.
I think it was on Thursday.. But one day this week I got a lot of encouragements from people, completely out of the blue, so I had no problem recieving thier words, and I didn't realize it, but I really needed that.

Also, everything around me is changing.
The people I'm around, the place I am, the way I see the world, and my relationship with God...
It's been changing for a while...
Theres a part of me that wants to change a lot of my external things, to match up.
Such as taking out my piercings, not dyeing my hair, and eating meat.
Which is silly. I like my piercings (in fact, I got a new one just a few hours ago.. In my nose.), I like changing my hair all the time and I know what I want to do to it next, and I have no real desire to eat meat, other than the fact that it would be a change.
I like me how I am, and the changes that are allready happening, so why would I need to change the external?
My hair, and my piercings, and the fact that I dont eat meat don't define who I am.
That is something I struggled with for a long time.
In grade 8 and 9 I applied my identity in a paste.
A paste that changed the colour of my hair, from plain, to exciting. From the boring person I was, to the exciting hip cool person I wanted to be. From natural, to platinum blonde, orange and purple, at the same time.
I don't want to still be that person. I like my hair when it has colours, it doesn't make me who I am, it doesn't change a thing about me. I dye my hair because I want to, and I like it, not because it makes me who I am.

I have a friend coming to visit me here next week. I'm very excited. Please pray that it goes well, and leaves a positive impact on her.
Shes not christian, but is trying to find God.

My blog entries always end up so much longer than I mean them to be.

Jessica.

Dodgoccery

Dodgoccery was founded by a group of students (and a teacher) during drill or phys. ed class at The War College in 2007. It was birthed out of desperation to find a sport that was both exciting and easy to play inside. Originally, it began as a game of indoor soccer, complete with goalies. Hockey sticks made an appearance in the net, with the purpose of making it harder to score. When no soccer ball was found throughout the land, a red rubber dodgeball was found in the Carnegie sports closet, and thus, Dodgoccery was born. The action on the offense soon became too exciting and the goalies came out of their positions, abandoning the hockey sticks and the net, and fought with the rest of the team battling for the red rubber ball. The game, it was decided, didnt need a goalie anyways as it was ultimately very hard to score with a ball that is as explosive as a dodgoccery ball. Although dodgoccery has a very short history, it is important to tell it's story for one to get a real handle on what has quickly become a favourite at The War College.
Teams are generally made up of about 4 or 5 people. There are two soccer nets set up inside a gym on opposite ends. The main jist is a game of soccer played with the bounciest ball you can find, like a red rubber dodgeball. Passing is pretty much nonexistent. Instead, you just want to kick the ball however you can because you know it is going to be unpredictable anyways. There are no goalies. You are generally allowed to use heads, shoulders and forearms for the ball, but no hands. Kick high, kick hard, just kick. Body checks are allowed and generally encouraged if your aim is to steal the ball. Kicking the ball off the walls is very encouraged and an excellent way to pass. If you can manage to shoot the ball into the net, your team earns a point. If, however, you manage to get the ball in the basketball net located above the other team's soccer net, two points are awarded (if you're wondering how this can be done with a highly bouncy dodgeball using only your legs, head, shoulders or forearm, ask Rory who made the most magnificent header into the basketball net this afternoon). Watch out, this game could get violent.
The most important rule of all, however, is that you don't hold back the laughter that is sure to come from your abdomenal area. Those stomach muscles need a workout, too, and dodgoccery is sure to give you a good one.

Today was a good day :-)

Grace,
Megan

Mr. Bean

The other day I watched Mr.Bean. It was one of my favorite shows as kid. In one of the episodes that I watched the Queen was coming to visit. So, there was a line of people all ready to greet the Queen. And Mr. Bean was in the line. He was tidying himself up before the Queen came. He made sure his shirt was tucked in and that his nails were clean. Than he started to notice that all the men had hankercheifes in the pockets of their jackets. So, Mr.Bean tried to find one to put in his pocket. And the process of Mr.Bean getting ready to meet the Queen took awhile and than she finally came in and he was all prepared and looking all nice and than when she came to him he accidently butted her in the head and she fell to the ground.

I recently have been feeling the way that Mr.Bean felt. Like I was going to meet the Queen, but I didn't look nice enough and I had stuff in my teeth and my shirt was untucked. I saw that everyone else looked nice so I tried to make myself look as nice, but in the end I butted the Queen in the head any way. It is like we think that we aren't good enough and because of our imperfections and we think that God is going to lose His love for us. He is going to shake everyone elses hand, but walk right by us. We compare ourselves to others and see that we aren't the same and that they some how are "better".

Yesturday I was talking to someone about how I haven't been having the best week of my life. And they turned to me and said 'Meghan you know that God loves you. Every part about you. You do not need to change anything about yourself because God loves you how you are.' And I than thought about how I had been trying in some way perfect myself by looking at all the negative stuff rather than looking at the stuff that is good and rejoicing in that. It is hard to see that God loves us with all these imperfections. And we want so badly to look nice for Him. I have realized that I could fix everything that I can see and look all spify, but in the end still butt the Queen in the head.

Grace,
Meghan

Today was a good day. I'm The War College.
Today Me an Megan Smith put together some songs for tommorow/today
and I believe it will be filled with Gods Mercy and Love for all of
the Men at Harbor Light. Today I thank God for showing me that he cares
about the little things in life as much as the bigger things.

Praise The Lord for he is worth of our worship and praise, we are his children
and he is our Father who created to be one in the body of christ.
Thank you to all who encourage me to fight for God, thankyou for being a
friend to me and I love you all.

I have never been so emotional in my whole life and it is so awesome being vulnerable it tells me that I can tell anyone about what is going on me especially leadership. I'm really fealing the Love God shows everyone and I pray that God keeps this Love strong withing this community.

Please come to me and ask for prayer and encourage me cause I need it and I will encourage you also. Jonathan and Carla im greatfull to have you not just as a Leader but as a friend who I can trust and Love as a brother and sister but submit to what you ask of me. Aaron and Cherien I thank you for showing Love and Kindness towards us and for inviting me/us into your home. All the X Culture Community you guys rock and I Love ya. Pete and Marnie you have given me hope to see that God Love me and that its alright to be pen minded and opinionated. I thankyou for being a friend when I needed you to be but I love that you kept me on the right path and I thank God he used you as a Descipler for me to get me through the hard times. You are my family and I love you so much I want you to know that.

The Aprtments you guys are amazing Donny, Jenae, Kirstin, Stephen, Jeremy, Rebecca B., R.B, Wes, and Stephanie I'm happy to be apart of your family and the community you are a blessing me and my session.

If anyone reads this please feel free to email me on this or comment on this I would really love to hear from you all in anyway that would be really encouraging to me.

I just have to say that INCENDIARY ROCKS

Good Night

God Bless
Love Rob

If people could keep me acountable to this

From Jackie to me to you:
This one drove me to ages of meditation with God to find some sort of rest, but here's the basic sum up of what took me weeks.

It isn't fair why is it that I was born in a wealthy Australian family, with good health, speaking the main political language and being able to travel any where in the world.
Why is it that I was able to make hundreds maybe even thousands of mistakes in my childhood when for many people just one would mean their death. I could have just as easily been born in North Korea where children are forced to pick up scraps from the road or China as the second Child where the government would murder me before I'd entered this world. I could have easily been born into an alcoholic family or in a country so poor I would be sold to prostitution.
Why is life not fair, I can see, hear, breath and not have to worry about being killed by some extremist organization, I have never been forced to watch my family being shot for not renouncing Christ as many have and still do.
As Paul said in Romans 1 14 "I am debtor both to the Greeks, and to the Barbarians; both to the wise, and to the unwise." I am in debt to the poor, weak and the lost. If I don't stand for justice, this amazing opportunity I have been given will become no more than a slap in the face of Jesus who died for me and a wasted life.

Result:

I renounce and hate materialism in my life
Just to be able to eat more than once a day is more than enough and a blessing.
Matt 6: 31
In North Korea and many other places just one meal a day is not available
see link

I renounce and hate the opinion that to just work in a worldly un-mission focused environment and just sponsor a child is enough
People are dieing every where and I am privileged enough to have a voice to
protest and money to fund this.
Matt 25:25
see link

I renounce and hate self indulgent entertainment that in my privileged position I
have been able to have.
Entertainment is not a right or an option to waste money and time on, when
thousands are crying for help I can not and must not be found using the money that
could save these peoples life's on a pointless trip to a theme park or buying the
latest movie.
Matt 25:45-46
see link

I am at war, we are at war!

I believe that if I don't pull rank and start fighting I am guilty of a great sin seeing a problem, being able to fix it and not doing anything
this opinion is not open for dispute with anything less than the word of God itself.
Romans 2:5b-14

comments

Sooooooo.... apparently people are reading this blog.
maybe I'm just being a bit of a butt head but comments would be very cool :P
Thanks to every one who does read this and more thanks to people who take it and pray.

really need a sign out slogan
Pete

God is listening.

I have had a really good week. God wise.
He gave me a lot of cool revelations, but the most important one is that he is listening.
Theres been some tough stiff going on with sicknesses in my life latley, and I would pray for people and see no results, or get the wrong results.
But, thats not true for every case. Which is proof that God is listening, and he cares about my prayers.
He is not a lazy God. He is an active God.
He will not abandon his children, he will not let go of them.
Praise the lord.

This week has been both good and bad. I had a really good day on Thursday, then two stressfull ones in a row.
I really feel like there is one night in particular I need to blog about, even though it was a week ago.
After I blogged last, I had an amazing night with God.
I stayed up and did the first part of the Girl's all night war room shift.
It was nice. I prayed a bit, got interrupted to open the gate for other girls, and played guitar.
It was a pretty short shift. I woke Caitlyn up so I could go to bed.
I lay down on the couch, got all comfy, and realized that spiritually, I was really uncomfortable.
God didn't want me to sleep on the couch.
So I got up, and set up a very uncomfortable, but amazing bed... At the foot of the cross.
I was physically laying down every burden, every bad thought, every bad thing of my day.
Which in itself was amazing.
Then God told me to grab the bottom of the cross.
When I did that, he cleansed me of the mistakes, and burdens of my day.
I woke up hours later, still holding the cross.
It was great. I got to sleep, like I really needed, spend time with the Lord, and wake up to him.
When I was laying there before I fell asleep I just felt so.. comfortable, even though I had one thin blanket underneath me..
I would say it was the best war room shift I've ever had, and I've had some pretty amazing ones.

I need to hang out with my session more.
I MEAN IT GUYS! I LOVE YOU!
But theres so much stuff going on right now in New West.
They need me to film, there are things that need to be celebrated..
After the next couple weekends, I will not go home, except for brigade, for atleast 2 weekends.
Promise.
I love New West, and being able to go home.. But it's turning into my safetly blanket, and I'm abusing the fact that I can so easily go home.
So Im sorry. After Im done with the things I promised I would do, I will stop going there every chance I get. I want to spend more time with you guys.

Stories singers sing about.

I've never been one for small talk.
That's probably my favorite part of living in Christian community. Here, it is absolutely acceptable for me to meet someone and my first question be, "So what's your life story?". Hearing people's stories has probably become my favorite hobby now, which is good, because there are a LOT of stories to hear. Perhaps, one day, I will make a scrapbook of them.
And perhaps, one day, I will know the story of everyone I bump into on these well treaded streets.
And one of these days, I will see God in everyone I meet, and they will see Him in me.
For today, I should work on my small talk skills.

We've Got Something They Want

At knee drill last night we had to call out the fruit in people. So, I called the fruit out of a guy that attends my cell. He has been such an encouragement the past few weeks. Each week at cell I can see a change in him, there has been such awesome growth in him. He has also become a part of community by coming to pray the bible and eating meals with us and just being around as much as he can. So, I was very excited to call out the fruit in him and let him know what an encouragement he has been. After he just looked at me and said "everything about you is amazing. I can't just chose one thing. You have something I want." He continued to tell me that the reason he has been around so much is because of the thing we have that he wants. He wants Jesus and he sees Jesus in our lives and it draws him in. It was such an encouragement. He is someone that shows me how important it is to live the way that God wants us to. People want Jesus whether we think so or not....let's give Him to them!

Sickness

One friend of mine is currently battling sclerosis of the liver, leukemia, and bone cancer and starts treatment in January.
Another friend of mine is fighting with many serious bed bug bites and scabs and a bad case of HIV scarring her body and making her very self-conscious and weak.
A couple students in the War College are dealing with very hard coughs and chest pain.

Sometimes it feels like we are battling with just so much sickness and I just don't know what to do. I'm hoping my two friends will come out to the war room sometime to soak in the presence of the Lord and pray because I believe that there is healing where the presence of the Lord is.

Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness will go before you,
and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.
Isaiah 58:8

But sometimes its just so hard to have faith, especially when you're around so much terrible illness that seems (but is not) hopeless. Increase my faith, Lord.

Please pray for my friends who are sick and against future illness, especially in the War College.

And special prayer request: please pray that I would find strength in Christ through my weaknesses. I'm finding it very hard these days to work or to find any sort of joy in my weaknesses.

Peace,

Halloween Part 2

Oh Peter Footer (Re: blog below). To whoever is reading this blog, just remember to keep open to the idea of Halloween and try your best to see both sides of the "Halloween" arguement, preferably before being set in an opinion. In my opinion and experience, there is a lot of good to come from dressing up, exchanging sweets, and building community. So just keep your eyes and ears open about it and try to see both sides, a.k.a. Peter Footer and Megan Smith.

Peace

Megg

Halloween

So this week is Halloween, interesting times. today isn't my day to blog so I'll just say check out http://holywarpropaganda.blogspot.com/ I think it is a great answer to this crazy day. (I personally think it's crazy and a dangerous gate way to evil you welcome to your own opinion.)